ooh la la. i realize that my blog should be more chim. i should throw around big words. that way i'll be giving off an impression that i'm much smarter than i look. or maybe it's the other way around. whatever. maths test tomorrow. i feel like throwing in the towel. history outline to come up with. i need more info. edna tan says that i need to put in more effort. i want to die. i need a sign on my head that says "cut me some slack people~!" but i think the teachers will tell us it's time to stop being a slacker and do some serious work. but please, i think i'll prefer to stay in dreamland

i'm such a ... hypocrite? whenever i see people stuck in the lala land of candied dreams, i want to give them a slap to wake up to reality. trust me, real life isn't candied dreams and sugared sweets. it's harsh. so why am i saying that i rather stay in dreamland? i must be cracking up.

people 2 years my senior came back today to collect the results. As. do you realize that we're stuck in the montony of an education system that we can never esacpe from if we ever want to succeed?

celebrated class day today. 5th of march. 5 (3). it's a cool tradition. it's also dan's birthday. he ended up cutting his lip. long story. instead of his head meeting cake, it was his teeth meeting the box on the table. oh well, looks like it's a short story. but he got a half day. silver lining in grey cloud? oh well.

math test. history outline. p3 history essay due. econs essay due. i see my death looming closer and closer in the horizon. i shouldnt be complaining so much. it's life. what more can i say? i'm too young to be keeping this kind of mood. what kind of mood? i think it's the pessimistic one. or maybe it's called realistic.

i was hyper this morning in the bus. i'm really cracking up. but i calmed down half way. seriously, i think something's wrong with me. i am never that hyper in the morning. key word, morning. no one SHOULD be hyper in the morning. i shouldn't be hyper in the morning. it's against my principles. whatever those may be.

i may seem to certain people like a real pessimist. but i'm also a idealist. part of me i guess. the pessismist side of me is the depressing one. you'll be surprised how depressing i can get. then again, some people think i'm all happy and normal. ha! you've never seen me try to really bite my sister. or even beat her up. i've tried to strangle her before. the rage just clouds my judgement. but who's to say she didn't deserve it. going off topic. i PRETEND to bite people, that's when i'm in a good mood. but when the rain comes and the rainbow disappears, you'll wish you never knew me. but that's why being my friend is so interesting. i keep people on their toes.

i hate this. this emotional high and then the wwwwwwway lows. depressing. life is certainly not being my friend. my emotions get tossed up and down. this is not some bloody rollercoaster. this is about stability and balance, which i have yet to achieve. wishing i can control my feelings. because sooner or later it'll drive me clear off the edge. i feel like giving up but the idealistic side of me just screams to hold on. emotional basket case.